View Full Version : My dad cheated on my mom, what should I do?

11-09-2003, 01:15 PM
My dad cheated on my mom and now I dont know how to act around my dad. I hate him so much and I hate him because with him doing that it makes my feel like he doesnt love me

11-10-2003, 08:19 AM
Only reasonable thing you can do is talk about it or avoid him. Either way it is going to hurt. Does your mom know? Or is it something you just found out on your own and you don't know what to do?

11-10-2003, 06:26 PM
My dad cheated on my mother when I was a child. I only found out when I was a teen and it really destroyed the image of my dad, especially because he cheated with my mothers cousin and with my mothers brothers ex-wife. When I found out, I didn't talk to my father for two months. It hurt to not be able to look at him the same way. We have tried to talk about it many times. I have learned to deal with it since it was in the past, however, the damage is done. I can no longer see my father and think, "Wow, hes the greatest!" I have not forgotten nor have I forgiven. Now don't get me wrong, he is a great FATHER, But because of what he has done, no matter what he does now he will always be a filthy adulterer to me. That really hurts and I feel that I hate him aswell. So what should we do about it? I am trying to seek therapy so that I can re-establish a relationship with my dad. I went to one of his sessions and it helped because I was able to tell him how I felt. But it still troubles me. It has made me miserable. My advice to you is to talk to him as much as you can. Tell him exactly how you feel and don't censor yourself. He needs to feel your pain through your words. Hopefully he will see the errors of his ways and want to help you through this cause you are going to need it.

12-15-2005, 10:56 AM
I know exactly how you feel! My dad also cheated on my mum, my dad was 42 and his "mistress" was 21 at the time........they have been together now for 2 1/2 years..........i hate my dad ssooooooooooooooo much, he wants to see me tomorrow and i said yes but i don't want to anymore...........do what you feel is right

12-15-2005, 08:39 PM
y'know what? my dad has been a womanizer since i can remember.
and till now, i am 31 now... he still sleeps around.
he is now 63 and mom's 54 with cancer.
i feel bad for my mom, cuz my dad's been his first BF and later on became his husband and has remained faithful to him despite all his shortcomings.
but they are still together. i don't tell my mom about his new toys anymore.
i don't feel betrayed, cuz i'm not the wife anyway.
he might be a terrible husband, but he's been nice and cool with us (my siblings) all eversince.

when i was younger, my mom would even drag me from bed late at night to go find my father.
then she'd ask me to pick up rocks to throw to my dad and whoever his mistress was at that time.

i figured, i shouldn't get affected.
it's their problem - let them solve it.
on one condition... that they don't press me to take sides. i hate that.
i just don't wanna get in the middle of their issues.
they're old enough to patch their differences. so leave 'em.

as long as your dad stays the same way he was to you (before this mistress issue),
i see no reason for you to get mad at him. unless he sucks as a father, too.
if it hurts you much to see your mom hurting...
talk to your dad. tell him how you feel. just let it all out and let him explain his side, too.
be the pacifier, if you wanna keep your family together.

12-16-2005, 09:21 AM
My dad cheated on my mom and now I dont know how to act around my dad. I hate him so much and I hate him because with him doing that it makes my feel like he doesnt love me

I say let them deal with it. Now you are probably just hurt because he hurt your mom by doing it and you
suffered from it because u love her, but just the fact that you say you "hate him" so much means that deep
down you are mad at him for what he did, and you feel betrayed and lost and it's completely normal, im
not saying you shouldnt, but do come to realize that when you dad did it, he probably wasnt thinking that
he could have hurt you too (MEN :rolleyes: !!) so confort your mom, and u'll see that things will settle
down, and if u can avoid that tension and make him understand that he hurt you but that ur ready to move
on, then everybody will feel better trust me.

12-16-2005, 11:15 AM
My father also cheat on my mother.. several times..

I no longer live with my father.. But I am seeing him tommorow (i haven't seen him since before summer when he came to town for a funral) and he is getting re married on saturday.. I know nothing of this woman who plans to bring my next brother or sister into the world.

12-18-2005, 05:38 PM
youll hate me for this, but its really THEIR problem. your mom is the one supposed to decide hpw to act around your dad. maybe you should think about why shes sticking around. thats probably not the first time, and it surely wont be the last.